If you’ve ever wondered how to have self worth, then you’ve probably not taken enough time to consider your merits. That’s a huge mistake. Let’s end it. Let’s built the self worth you deserve.
Let’s start right now by getting something straight: self worth does not make you an egotist or self centred. The notion that if you value yourself you’re an egomaniac is total, straight-up bullshit.
Self worth is about self compassion, about self-respect, about valuing your own person.
But the problem is that near all of us (and this definitely goes for me as well, by the way), we all get our sense of self worth from the wrong places. We get it from Facebook “Likes”, from Twitter… from external factors.
Self worth should come from within, not from without.
If you want to take control of tour self esteem, you’ve got to get it from within yourself.
Here are 10 ways how to have self worth
If you have been suffering from low self esteem symptoms, use these tips right away.
1. Learn what makes you value yourself
Your personal sense of what makes a person valuable or not is based on specific factors. What matters to you probably isn’t what matters to me. We’re all wonderfully unique individuals. But whatever it is that does matter to you, you should foster that trait in yourself.
If you care about animals, do your part to help keep them safe. If you think that money is what it’s all about (god help you) but go ahead and make tons of money. Whatever it is that you think makes a person valuable, achieve that thing in yourself.
2. Be legitimate
The world is full of fakers. Just take a look around. People are wearing the same fashion labels. Why? Because that’s what everyone else is doing. People are watching the same TV shows (as though we’re completely oblivious to the benefits of giving up TV). Why? Because they don’t want to be that one person in the office who didn’t catch the show. We’re spending half our time trying to be someone else. We should be spending 100% of our time being true to ourselves.
I know that I’m not honoring myself when I make social plans five nights of the week. That exhauts me. I try my best to make sure that I have enough me time while still being there for my friends.
3. Have the guts to follow your heart, despite what everyone says
It takes courage to follow your heart. Your heart leads you to an individual place, a place where a lot of other people won’t be able to follow. When I finished university all my friends immediately got jobs. I went a different route. I took to the stage and toured England. That was a scary time because I was going against the mould, but I’m glad I did it. It made me me. It made me different, unique. And even though fame and fortune didn’t land at my feet, I did it my way (Frank Sinatra, anyone?).
Want to follow your heart but worried about where it will lead? Read my article about becoming self empowered.
4. Don’t even think about being “normal”
Someone’s going to have to explain this one to me because I honestly just do not get it. Why is everyone so hell bent on being normal and fitting in? We are all unique and beautiful people. We’re all splashes of colour on a grand canvas called Earth. Don’t deprive Earth of your colour. Light up the world with your individuality.
Don’t feel comfortable being 100% true to yourself? Read this guide to using self help for confidence.
5. Never let anyone tell you you can’t
People have good intentions. Most people won’t intentionally try to set you back. But people are full of fear. So when your friends or family say “You can’t do that it’s too risky” take it with a pinch and remember that it’s their fear talking. Just because someone else thinks you can’t doesn’t mean you can’t.
* Read my guide to the best psychological exercises for self esteem.
6. Say no
Saying no takes courage. It’s pretty easy to let yourself be pushed around. We’re all worried about being disliked and the easiest way to avoid being disliked is to be agreeable. But reality is that if you just say yes to everything no one will respect you, and you’ll pretty much destroy your self worth too. Say no.
7. Don’t date someone who isn’t sure about you
If there’s one place that we all tend to stop valuing ourselves it’s in relationships. What we need to do is put a firm rule up: It’s either a yes or it’s a definite no, because “uhhh, maybe” just aint good enough.
I’m constantly meeting people who are truly beautiful inside and who could give so much to the right person, but they’re stuck in dead-end relationships. If your relationship isn’t working now then honestly I’m sorry but look it’s just not working and it’s not going to work. Get out. Have enough self worth to say “I deserve better than this”.
8. Forgive yourself
You’ve messed up in the past. You’ve done things you never thought you would do. You’ve hurt people. You’ve done harm. You wish you hadn’t but you have. Guess what? That’s life. It’s an unfortunate and painful but ultimately unavoidable reality. At times you mess up. It’s just that simple.
You have to be able to forgive yourself. Look all your past mistakes in the eye and say “I forgive myself for that”. You’re not perfect. You were never meant to be.
9. What you achieve today is enough for today
Having self worth means not being so darn hard on yourself and not berating yourself just because you didn’t achieve everything you wanted to achieve today. How about showing yourself some self compassion instead? How about saying, “Hey. I didn’t do everything. But I did enough, and I’m pleased with what I accomplished”. Not only will that make you feel better about yourself, it will motivate you to get more done tomorrow too.
10. You are not your genes
You could spend the rest of your life trying to make amends for things that happened in the past, but you have to realise that a lot of your past was not your fault. If your parents made mistakes your parents made mistakes. You’re not your parents. You’re you.
You deserve to have the utmost self worth. You’re a unique and valuable individual.
Treat yourself the way you’d want other people to treat you. When you focus on your flaws, you basically put your flaws up for all else to see. Focus on the good instead. Let your brilliance shine.
These are 10 of the best ways how to have self worth. Use them today. You deserve it.
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