Need some anger management strategies that work? Want to be less “Hulk Smash” more “Om”? Already tried our easy tips to control your anger? Hey, no sweat, there are some really powerful and easy ways to control anger.
But if you really want to know how to control your feelings and emotions, you’ve got to understand where those feelings and emotions come from.
Your heart and your mind are storage places for intense memories—some good, some bad, some beautiful, some just plain ugly. You’ve likely got more good memories than bad. But even though there are more good memories, it’s the bad memories that most of us choose to focus on.
That needs to stop.
We need to stop focusing on the bad memories. Accept the pain that you’ve been through in your past. Learn from it. But move on in a positive, healthy way. And never forget that even your pain happens for a reason.
Trust me, I know what it’s like to dwell on the past. I was brought up in a very volatile family. We loved each other, and I was provided for. But my father was an alcoholic and there are a lot of bad memories that raise their heads every now and again. I love my father (R.I.P) but it was hard.
I personally pledged that I would never harm anyone the way that I myself had been harmed (which is why I practice loving kindness meditation every day).
And I have never hurt anyone in my life. I’ve never raised a fist to a single person in my life (despite the fact that I’ve been attacked numerous times). And I don’t doubt that those people who attacked me did so because they were angry. Not angry with me. Angry at life.
Anger is a disease eating away at society. We need to make it stop.
And you can make your own anger stop today. Simply use the five techniques below.
The top 5 anger management strategies that work
- Accept the fact that there is pain in your life
We all have some pain. That much is inevitable. Some people try to bury their heads and ignore their emotions. But when you ignore your emotions they bury themselves deep inside of you and eat away at your core. Take a stand right now. Look in the mirror and tell yourself, “I have pain, and I accept the pain”. You will find it helpful to develop a non judgmental attitude for this. And one of the best ways to do that is with this Buddhist meditation plan for beginners.
- Follow an inspirational figure who inspires peace
The people you associate with influence you tremendously. If you truly want to overcome anger and to live a better, happier life, find someone who inspires peace in you. They could be someone in your personal life or someone famous. Acquaint yourself with that person or (if they’re famous) with their works. Take their advice on handling pressure and apply it to your own life.
If you’re not sure who you should look up, I’ve put together a list of the top spiritual gurus in the world. You might find it helpful.
- Don’t release anger but do release energy
Not so long ago people believed that the best way to get rid of anger is to express it. People would intentionally yell or punch a wall to get rid of their anger. But psychology has subsequently proven that expressing your anger only makes you angrier. Instead, find positive and healthy ways to release your energy. Go for a run, hit the gym, do what you need to do to channel that angry energy into positivity.
One of the best ways to release energy is with dynamic meditation technique. Give it a shot. Trust me, it’ll revolutionise you.
- Forgiveness is a virtue
I’m sure you know how difficult it can be to forgive people. Ten years ago my father was in Portsmouth, England, when two muggers stopped him and stuck a knife in his neck. He nearly died. He ended up surviving, thank God. I’ll never forget the seething anger I felt deep in my belly.
Forgiving those muggers was not easy. But I knew that if I didn’t forgive I would live with anger for the rest of my life. I meditated on the pain, touched upon the suffering that was filling my chest, and forced myself to accept the uglier side of society and to forgive those muggers who has nearly killed my dad. Not easy. But if I hadn’t forgiven them I’d still be angry today.
Forgiveness is very important in life. And it is one of the most important parts of controlling anger.
- Laugh it off
Laughter is the music of the soul. When you laugh you release endorphins which make you happy. And really you don’t even need to try that hard to laugh. If you’re British like me you can just put on Father Ted and there ya go, anger dead, laughter born. If not, just put on whatever comedies you love, or go see some friends, or make someone tickle you. Whatever works, just laugh.
I love laughing. Honestly. I think laughter is medicine for the mind. It makes you happy and it kills anger.
You can find my guide to developing your sense of humor here.
And if all that fails, you could always use this powerful Buddhist meditation technique for anger. That’ll definitely work.