Want to know how to have confidence in dating? When you have confidence in dating you’re going to have so much fun you will not believe it. But how do you get more confidence when dating?
Whether you’re dating a hot girl or a cute guy confidence is the same thing. Confidence is the ability to be chill in a situation and to not allow your thoughts to get the better of you.
You will naturally develop confidence when you are able to simply be in a situation without getting all choked up on thoughts and nervousness. The second you can stop negative thoughts from ruining your life and just be completely chill, you will have so much more fun dating. The moment you overcome your fear you’ll be good to go.
So how do you do that?
Well, for starters, don’t ever listen to those douchebags who say they’re “alpha males” and who tell you how you should act. Pah. Screw that. You act how you act. You be you. And you never allow anyone in your entire life to tell you how you should act, ever. Honestly. You don’t need no man or woman telling you who you should be.
I’m not going to tell you who you should be. Because you should be you. But how do you get the confidence to be you?
It’s not that easy to be around someone you have the serious hots for and just be you and be chill, is it? It’s one hell of a challenge.
If you want to know how to have more confidence in dating, try mindfulness
All right so on this blog I’ve talked about mindfulness a hell of a lot. If you have never tried mindfulness and you don’t know what it is, no sweat. I’ve written a beginners guide to mindfulness to get you started. So if you’re new, read that and then come back here.
So, if you want to know how to have more confidence in dating, be more mindful.
Just as we need to be mindful of everything that is happening outside of ourselves, we equally need to be mindful of everything that is going on inside ourselves.
Imagine that you are a single man suffering from low self esteem (as many single men do). You deep down believe that you are not attractive. You think you’re ugly. You think no one in the world could possibly ever be attracted to you.
But here’s the crux: that’s what YOU think. It isn’t what anyone else thinks.
Unfortunately, our minds tend to be led astray by our beliefs about ourselves. If we believe we are unattractive we will closed our eyes anytime someone shows interest in us.
Thankfully, when you practice mindfulness and meditation techniques you learn to let go of your own thoughts and be more open and aware. This is one of the best ways how to develop confidence and will lead to more dating.
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Let’s revisit the story above, in which we were at the bar with a friend who thought that no one was interested in her. However, this time we’re going to make a minor adjustment. . .
. . . “So you haven’t seen the guy over there? “
“Oh him,” my friend says with a sigh. “Yeah, I saw him. He’s weird. Whenever I look at him he checks himself over.”
“Right. Because he’s attracted to you.”
She laughs. “No, no. Get real. He’s gorgeous. There’s no way he’s interested in me!”
“Okay,” I say, scratching my head in disbelief. I can’t believe she’s so blind to this guy’s attraction. “So, you saw him check himself over when you looked at him. I’m presuming you’ve noticed him looking over here repeatedly. So, what’s he looking over here for then?”
“Oh he’s probably gay. He’s probably looking at you.”
At this I have to laugh. “He doesn’t look gay to me! He looks like he fancies you.”
“Well then why doesn’t he come over here and start talking to me?”
“Maybe he’s not very confident.”
“Maybe I’m just not very attractive.” . . .
When you have that crippling lack of self belief, it blinds everything.
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In the next two secrets we will look at how you can develop both your internal and external mindfulness, thereby being aware of all the times when people are attracted to you. Oh, and by the way, when you practice these two techniques you’re going to be shocked. You’re going to be shocked because you’re going to realise that actually tons of people are attracted to you.
But for now, let’s reiterate the last two points. Firstly, you need to practice mindfulness so you are aware every time someone shows attraction to you. And secondly, you need to practice insight so that you are of when your limiting self beliefs interfere with your perception. In other words, you need to be able to see shit for what it is.
You can also use mindfulness for sexual confidence too. Take a look at that link.
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