Love is a gift of one’s inner most soul to another so both can be whole. -love quote by Buddha
We are given three loves in our lifetime. Only three.
Each is unique. Each is beautiful. Each can be painful.
To live fully, we must embrace all three loves. Because each of these loves happens for a reason.
It is not by chance that star-crossed lovers meet. It is fate. Destiny. It is the order of the universe. When we find true love, it is born of a cosmic law, the law of the universe.
The first love. So sweet. So precious. In hindsight, so fragile.
For many, this first love comes at high school or soon after. Remember how your breath was taken away? Do you recall the pang in your chest when first you felt that powerful energy, love?
The first love is the Hollywood love. It’s idealistic. It’s the fairytale. We feel we are being whisked away on a magical journey. Our dreams are being fulfilled, we think, like Romeo with Juliet, like Aladdin and Jasmin. It’s an innocent, pure, fantasy love.
It doesn’t last.
Even for those rare gems of lovers who stay together, the love changes. Because that is the way. It is the law of the universe. To be stagnant means death. To grow, love must change.
It hurts when we lose our first love. That precious jewel we thought would last forever. Suddenly it is shattered into fragments of glass, scattered as the sands of time.
Soon comes the second love. The ‘hard love’. This second love is the universe’s great teacher. It is during our second love that we learn. We learn about ourselves, about other people, about deceit, about pain, about loss.
Entering this love, we feel we are changing direction, taking a new course. What we went through the first time around will not repeat, for we have journeyed downriver. And we shall not endure the pain of loss again.
Ah, how naïve we are.
The second love is a painful lesson. And it repeats. Just like the Buddhist believe that we are born repeatedly until we learn to be enlightened, this second love is repeatedly reborn until we learn the lessons it is trying to teach us.
Some people never escape the cycle of this second love. The fall in love with the same type of person. They love in the same way. They breakup in the same way. They are torn in the same way. They patch themselves up in the same way. And it repeats.
To break out of the second love we must learn the lessons it teaches us. Only then can we grow enough to find our way to the third love.
Where the second love has us rocking back and forth like we’re lost at sea, the third love comes unexpectedly, it is the island we are given in the ocean of despair.
The third love is a surprise. And it comes precisely because we give up.
It’s one of the miracles of life. When we give up, let go, and just trust the flow of the tide, life will carry us where we need to be. So is this third love.
The third love is the rising sun after the longest night. By law of nature it must come. And when it does—oh, when it does! We find our spiritual home. We find our haven. We find the place we were always meant to be, locked in the arms of the one person we are destined to be with.
It is a cosmic dance, love. It is the coming together of two specs of stardust lost in oceanic skies. It is the meeting of star-crossed lovers. It is fate. It is destiny. It is home.
Look in the eyes of your grandparents in photographs. You will see this third love there.