Did you know that mindfulness naturally leads to love…? We unveil the true relationship between meditation and romance.
One of the greatest weaknesses of the mind that people suffer from is a lack of mindfulness.
Mindfulness: The quality of being conscious and aware
Too often in life we run on auto-pilot. We exist in our own minds, consumed by thoughts, by personal bias and by ignorance. If your mind is flooded with thoughts, two problems will affect you. Firstly, you will not be able to take in new information.
Imagine a cup. It is filled with water. Nothing new can go in. So too with the mind. It is flooded with thoughts and information, there is no room for new information. The mind needs new information as the body needs water and oxygen. To be truly alive, we need to be living in the present moment, continually taking in information of the environment through the senses.
But how does mindfulness affect a person’s sex life?
Simple. If you are not aware of your present environment, you cannot be aware of people in that environment. Let’s say you are a single man looking for a girlfriend. You have a stressful job and are constantly thinking about it. One night you go out for a drink just to relax. An attractive woman enters the bar. She is clearly interested in you. She’s looking at you with dilated pupils, she’s fondling her glass and touching her thigh. But you don’t notice. You don’t notice simply because your mind is so full of thoughts. To put it simply: you are blind.
I always find it amazing when a relatively attractive guy or girl comes to me and says. “I just can’t find a date. I’m not attractive.”
I laugh. “You’re very attractive,” I say, “Why do you think otherwise?”
“Because no one ever shows me any attention.”
“You’re sure no one shows you attention?” I ask.
“Okay, I’ll make you a bet. Let’s go out to a bar this weekend and I bet that within one hour I can show you somebody who is clearly interested in you. Winner gets a tenner.”
And so we go out. We sit there drinking and chatting. And then my friend says, “See, no one is interested.”
“Uh-huh,” I, somewhat arrogantly, mumble. “So you haven’t seen the guy over there? You didn’t notice how the moment you looked at him he ran his fingers through his hair then checked his shirt. He’s looked over here about twenty times. I don’t think he’s looking at me! You, young lady, owe me a tenner.”
The crux of the matter here is painfully obvious and very very simple, but also very important: if you’re not being mindful of the present moment you’re going to be oblivious to other people, and if you’re oblivious to other people, you’re not going to be aware when they show attraction.
I’ve started with the simplest of all the spiritual secrets here. But I also think it’s maybe the most important. How are you going to find something if you’re not looking?
To get the most out of life you need to practice mindfulness at all times, you need to live in the present moment.