Everyone wants to know how to be more successful. And the self improvement world focuses on your mind. But the best mindset for success is outside yourself.
So you want to know how to be a more successful person?
Now, before you go reading a bunch of self improvement books and checking out online self help courses, stop.
There is one tragic mistake that everyone who is into self improvement and self help makes: placing too much emphasis on desire.
Let’s say an individual wishes to be rich. Many self help “gurus” would offer advice a lil’ something like this:
Typical Self Help Tip: Be specific, say precisely how much money you want, set a date you want to get the money by, imagine yourself getting it.
The above is a classic technique in NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming), a technique which has been scientifically slammed for years but which still rears its ugly head in many a self help book.
It sounds flipping fantastic. You can just imagine yourself getting something and hey presto! it’s yours.
But then you realise that you’re not living in Hogwarts and life isn’t anything like Harry Potter. Besides, you don’t know magic.
You’re also focusing on desire, which is an extremely unwise thing to do. This is not the right way how to be a more successful person.
Why Most Self Help Tip Simply Don’t Work
I used to try this sort of bullshit NLP / self help technique all the time. Never worked. I was committed, I did precisely what the books said. Nothing happened. Just wasted time. In fact, not only did I not get what I wanted but I became less happy. Why? Because I was focusing on desire.
Realistically, you can’t make things happen just by thinking about them. Your thoughts do no control reality. The only thing that happens when you force yourself to focus on getting what you want, is that you become less appreciative of what you have, which is no way to be happy and no way to be successful in life. (If you really want to know how to be successful in life, read this).
Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.
Sitting there forcing yourself to desire something is neither getting what you want, nor wanting what you get.
If you want money (for instance) you have to go and get it in the real world. It wont just come to you from your mind, from your Yoda-esque force powers. Nah. Not gonna happen. That is simply not the right way how to be a more successful person.
But that’s doesn’t mean you cant use your mind to become successful. It just means this:
You can’t use your mind to obtain things outside your mind. The best mindset for success is getting out of your own mind.
You can’t get money from your mind. You can’t get love from your mind. You can’t get a job from your mind. Why? Because those things don’t exist in your mind.
You cannot obtain external things from your mind because they don’t exist in your mind. But what can you achieve with your mind?
But there still is an immense power of the mind.
So what can you achieve with your mind?
Well, logically, you can achieve anything that exists in your mind. You can use your mind to control your personality.
Say you want money. You can’t get it from your mind, but you can get hardwork, hustle, determination and other qualities from your mind, and these qualities will in turn lead to money.
By focusing on the qualities of your mind, by using your mind to change your mind, you can take control of your external reality.
So here’s the real way how to become a successful person.
Use your mind. But focus on attitude, not results.
If you want money, visualise yourself being hardworking, being productive, being determined, having hustle. This will develop these qualities in your mind, making you get up off your ass, work your butt off and make it happen.
You want love. Visualise yourself as being a highly loving and highly socialable person. This will make you get out there and meet people, be expressive of your feelings and this, in turn, will make love far more likely to come your way.
You want health, visualise yourself making healthy decisions, valuing your body and so on.
The bottom line is this. Stop living in fantasy land where your mind is a magic cauldron in which you can conjure up anything you desire. Your mind is a mind. That’s all. Use your mind to make your mind stronger. Period.
Got any good ideas on good mindsets for success? Share them in a comment.
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