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Need to know how to boost self confidence? The answer lies in learning to not be so hard on yourself. Read on to discover the key to boosting self confidence.
How to Boost Self Confidence by Not Being So Hard On Yourself
Low self confidence affects us in every avenue of life, from meeting new people to job interviews, and while it’s easy to place blame elsewhere—on our critics, on the media etc.—in reality, the best place to look is to yourself.
While the criticism of others can affects our confidence, it’s the way we criticise ourselves which really hurts.
It’s not hard to see how hard we our on ourselves. Whenever we find ourselves in a pressure situation—be it at work, in social life or elsewhere—we often hear a little voice at the back of our minds saying “You’re not good enough. You wont succeed. Why do you even try.”
This voice hurts. It kills our self esteem. If we are to boos our self confidence we need to learn to not be so hard on ourselves.
Sadly, it isn’t necessarily an easy job to silence our inner critic. We can’t just wish our negative selves away. The mind is complex. What we need is to separate negative criticism from objective criticism, to recognise the difference between when we are being fair to ourselves and when we are being too judgmental.
It’s also hard to believe that we are being too hard to ourselves. Most of us would never be so hard on others as we are on ourselves.
The following exercise will allow you to be as accepting to yourself as you are to others, to look on yourself in the same way you would look on those you love. This will naturally give your self confidence a boost in a big way.
EXERCISE to Boost Self Confidence by Not Being So Hard On Yourself
PART 1: Recognising your crucial inner voice
Grab a piece of paper and use it to record negative things you say to yourself throughout the day.
Now, copy the list, but instead of writing “I am . . . “ put it in second person, saying (for example) “Paul is. . . “
Now read the second list back to yourself and notice how you feel about each of the statements. As you read the list, make note of any new criticisms about yourself that come to mind and write those down too.
Exercise Part 2: Getting your critical inner voice out the way
Put your list of criticisms down to one side and put a new piece of paper next to it. On this piece of paper, you’re going to treat yourself as your closest friend would treat you.
Read through each piece of criticism one at a time and on the new piece of paper write a response to the attack, an objective and fair response to your attack, the kind of thing a friend might say. For instance, if an attack was, “Paul is too lazy,” you might write, “I have downtimes when I relax and recharge but that doesn’t make me lazy, I still get plenty of work done.”
It’s important to write this new list in FIRST person (using “I” and “ME”)
Perform this exercise every so often and you will boost your self confidence and stop being so hard on yourself.
Within a month of using this exercise once a week you will notice that you have built your self confidence a great deal.Read more
Compiling this list of the best self improvement books of all time was no easy task. Anyone who is seriously into self improvement will likely have read hundreds of self improvement books through the years. Some were terrible, some were okay, many were good but the following, in my opinion, are the absolute best self improvement books ever.
Best Self Improvement Books: Awaken The Giant Within
Anthony Robbins, the nation’s leader in the science of peak performance, shows you his most effective strategies and techniques for mastering your emotions, your body, your relationships, your finances, and your life. The acknowledged expert in the psychology of change, Anthony Robbins provides a step-by-step program teaching the fundamental lessons of self-mastery that will enable you to discover your true purpose, take control of your life and harness the forces that shape your destiny.
Best Self Help Books: The Book of Secrets
Read Arolemodel.com’s review of The Book of Secrets HERE
Every life is a book of secrets, ready to be opened. The secret of perfect love is found there, along with the secrets of healing, compassion, faith, and the most elusive one of all: who we really are. We are still mysteries to ourselves, despite the proximity of these answers, and what we most long to know remains lodged deep inside.
We all want to know how to find a soul mate, what career would be most fulfilling, how to live a life with meaning, and how to teach our children well. We are looking for a personal breakthrough, a turning point, a revelation that brings with it new meaning. The Book of Secrets–a crystalline distillation of insights and wisdom accumulated over the lifetime of one of the great spiritual thinkers of our time–provides an exquisite new tool for achieving just that.
Because answers to the questions at the center of life are counterintuitive, they are often hidden from view, sequestered from our everyday gaze. In his ongoing quest to elevate our experience, bestselling author Deepak Chopra has isolated fifteen secrets that drive the narrative of this inspiring book–and of our lives. From “The World Is in You” and “What You Seek, You Already Are” to “Evil Is Not Your Enemy” and “You Are Truly Free When You Are Not a Person,” The Book of Secrets is rich with insights, a priceless treasure that can transport us beyond change to transformation, and from there to a sacred place where we can savor the nectar of enlightenment.
Best Self Improvement Books: 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, author Stephen R. Covey presents a holistic, integrated, principle-centered approach for solving personal and professional problems. With penetrating insights and pointed anecdotes, Covey reveals a step-by-step pathway for living with fairness, integrity, service, and human dignity–principles that give us the security to adapt to change and the wisdom and power to take advantage of the opportunities that change creates.
Best Self Improvement Book: your Creative Brain
Read Arolemodel.com’s review of Your Creative Brain HERE
This provocative book reveals why sitting in front of a light box can increase your creativity more than listening to a Bach concerto as example. The author Shelley H. Carson, a Harvard psychologist, explains that creativity isn’t something only scientists, investors, artists, writers, and musicians enjoy; in fact, all of us use our creative brains every day at home and at work. Each of us has the ability to increase our mental functioning and creativity by learning to move flexibly among several brain states.
- Explains seven brain states or “brainsets” and their functions as related to creativity, productivity, and innovation. These include Connect, Reason, Envision, Absorb, Transform, Evaluate, and Stream brainsets.
Best Self Improvement Books: How to Make Friends and Influence People
• One of the best known motivational books in history: Since it was released in 1936, How to Win Friends and Influence People has sold more than 15 million copies. Carnegie’s first book is timeless and appeals equally to business audiences, self-help audiences, and general readers alike..
• Proven advice for success in life: Carnegie believed that most successes come from an ability to communicate effectively rather than from brilliant insights. His book teaches these skills by showing readers how to value others and make them feel appreciated rather than manipulated. .
• As relevant as ever before: In the age of Steven Covey and Tony Robbins, Dale Carnegie’s principles endure. The original edition was published in response to the Great Depression, and this fresh hardcover edition will appeal now more than ever to readers wanting tried and true advice on how to deal with a depressed economy. Readers can learn how to get the job they want, improve the job they have, and make the best of any situation.
Best Self Improvement Books: The Alchemist
“My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer,” the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky.” Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams.”
The Alchemist is the magical story of Santiago, an Andalusian shepherd boy who yearns to travel in search of a worldly treasure as extravagant as any ever found. From his home in Spain he journeys to the markets of Tangiers and across the Egyptian desert to a fateful encounter with the alchemist.
The story of the treasures Santiago finds along the way teaches us, as only a few stories have done, about the essential wisdom of listening to our hearts, learning to read the omens strewn along life’s path, and, above all, following our dreams.
Every few decades a book is published that changes the lives of its readers forever. The Alchemist is such a book. With over a million and a half copies sold around the world, The Alchemist has already established itself as a modern classic, universally admired. Paulo Coelho’s charming fable, now available in English for the first time, will enchant and inspire an even wider audience of readers for generations to come.
Best Self improvement Books: The Power of Now
It’s no wonder that The Power of Now has sold over 2 million copies worldwide and has been translated into over 30 foreign languages. Much more than simple principles and platitudes, the book takes readers on an inspiring spiritual journey to find their true and deepest self and reach the ultimate in personal growth and spirituality: the discovery of truth and light.
In the first chapter, Tolle introduces readers to enlightenment and its natural enemy, the mind. He awakens readers to their role as a creator of pain and shows them how to have a pain-free identity by living fully in the present. The journey is thrilling, and along the way, the author shows how to connect to the indestructible essence of our Being, “the eternal, ever-present One Life beyond the myriad forms of life that are subject to birth and death.”
Featuring a new preface by the author, this paperback shows that only after regaining awareness of Being, liberated from Mind and intensely in the Now, is there Enlightenment.
Best Self Improvement Books: The Art of Happiness
Nearly every time you see him, he’s laughing, or at least smiling. And he makes everyone else around him feel like smiling. He’s the Dalai Lama, the spiritual and temporal leader of Tibet, a Nobel Prize winner, and a hugely sought-after speaker and statesman. Why is he so popular? Even after spending only a few minutes in his presence you can’t help feeling happier.
If you ask him if he’s happy, even though he’s suffered the loss of his country, the Dalai Lama will give you an unconditional yes. What’s more, he’ll tell you that happiness is the purpose of life, and that “the very motion of our life is toward happiness.” How to get there has always been the question. He’s tried to answer it before, but he’s never had the help of a psychiatrist to get the message across in a context we can easily understand.
The Art of Happiness is the book that started the genre of happiness books, and it remains the cornerstone of the field of positive psychology.
Through conversations, stories, and meditations, the Dalai Lama shows us how to defeat day-to-day anxiety, insecurity, anger, and discouragement. Together with Dr. Howard Cutler, he explores many facets of everyday life, including relationships, loss, and the pursuit of wealth, to illustrate how to ride through life’s obstacles on a deep and abiding source of inner peace. Based on 2,500 years of Buddhist meditations mixed with a healthy dose of common sense, The Art of Happiness is a book that crosses the boundaries of traditions to help readers with difficulties common to all human beings. After being in print for ten years, this book has touched countless lives and uplifted spirits around the world.Read more
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