How Your Confidence Reacts When You’re Self-Friendly

Need to know how to boost self confidence? The answer lies in learning to not be so hard on yourself. Read on to discover the key to boosting self confidence.


How to Boost Self Confidence by Not Being So Hard On Yourself

Low self confidence affects us in every avenue of life, from meeting new people to job interviews, and while it’s easy to place blame elsewhere—on our critics, on the media etc.—in reality, the best place to look is to yourself.

While the criticism of others can affects our confidence, it’s the way we criticise ourselves which really hurts.

It’s not hard to see how hard we our on ourselves. Whenever we find ourselves in a pressure situation—be it at work, in social life or elsewhere—we often hear a little voice at the back of our minds saying “You’re not good enough. You wont succeed. Why do you even try.”

This voice hurts. It kills our self esteem. If we are to boos our self confidence we need to learn to not be so hard on ourselves.

Sadly, it isn’t necessarily an easy job to silence our inner critic. We can’t just wish our negative selves away. The mind is complex. What we need is to separate negative criticism from objective criticism, to recognise the difference between when we are being fair to ourselves and when we are being too judgmental.

It’s also hard to believe that we are being too hard to ourselves. Most of us would never be so hard on others as we are on ourselves.

The following exercise will allow you to be as accepting to yourself as you are to others, to look on yourself in the same way you would look on those you love. This will naturally give your self confidence a boost in a big way.


EXERCISE to Boost Self Confidence by Not Being So Hard On Yourself 

PART 1: Recognising your crucial inner voice

Grab a piece of paper and use it to record negative things you say to yourself throughout the day.

Now, copy the list, but instead of writing “I am . . . “ put it in second person, saying (for example) “Paul is. . . “

Now read the second list back to yourself and notice how you feel about each of the statements. As you read the list, make note of any new criticisms about yourself that come to mind and write those down too.

Exercise Part 2: Getting your critical inner voice out the way

Put your list of criticisms down to one side and put a new piece of paper next to it. On this piece of paper, you’re going to treat yourself as your closest friend would treat you.

Read through each piece of criticism one at a time and on the new piece of paper write a response to the attack, an objective and fair response to your attack, the kind of thing a friend might say. For instance, if an attack was, “Paul is too lazy,” you might write, “I have downtimes when I relax and recharge but that doesn’t make me lazy, I still get plenty of work done.”

It’s important to write this new list in FIRST person (using “I” and “ME”)

Perform this exercise every so often and you will boost your self confidence and stop being so hard on yourself.

Within a month of using this exercise once a week you will notice that you have built your self confidence a great deal.

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