Do you need to know how to overcome your past? If so, hey, no sweat, there are some great techniques you can use to overcome your past.
If, like me, you have experienced abuse in the past, you might think that your future is tainted. But like me you can fight back. You can take control of your future by taking control of your past.
Why You Need To Overcome Your Past
Do you feel victim to your past? Does it feel as though life has conspired to deal you a bad deck? What if you could overcome your past, and thereby live a happier tomorrow?
People dwell on their past. Past opportunities missed. Past loves lost. Past happiness vanished in a frenzy of bad luck, as though you were doomed from the beginning. Hell, trust me, I know where you’re coming from. I used to live with my head stuck in the past. Going through a lot of bullying as a kid, and with an alcoholic father (whom I loved, R.I.P dad), I had to learn how to overcome my past.
The good news is this. There are techniques you can use to overcome your past.
Your past is contained in your memory. And your memory is within your today. So naturally you have the power to change your memories of the past. And in so doing you can create a brighter and happier tomorrow.
Here are five ways to overcome your past so you’ll live happier tomorrow.
- Free your mind by harnessing the present moment.
If you want to know how to overcome your past, start by focusing on the present moment, on now.
Don’t let your mind dwell on the past. Don’t let thoughts take away your power. Live now. Focus on the present moment.
To free your mind from painful thoughts of the past, focus on the present moment. Practice mindfulness—by simply focusing your mind on what you’re doing right now. This will free you from the burden of thoughts. T
Research proves that practicing mindfulness will beat depression. Just by focusing on the moment you will boost your happiness levels and greatly increase your productivity and personal effectiveness.
The best time to do this is first thing. Try it, and also try these other techniques to start the day off positively. They’re real game changers.
- Take control of yesterday by building new memories
You remember your past. Vividly. But importantly, you remember specific moments of your past. You focus on yesterday, but not all of yesterday. You focus on specific aspects of yesterday that conform to your beliefs about yourself.
If you believe you are a victim you will focus on memories of times when you truly were a victim.
But you have the power to change that.
You can choose to focus on memories that show your past in a different light.
Choose to focus on memories that build positive beliefs. If you want to feel loved, bring into your mind memories of times when you felt true and powerful love. This will naturally boost your ability to perceive the love around you and in your life.
Be wise. Don’t permit yourself to focus on negative memories. Direct your mind to focus on positive memories that generate positive beliefs.
- Reconnect with the people who make you happy
When were you at your happiest? I’ll throw my chips on the table and say that at those great times in your life there were great people around you. Reconnect with those great people.
But maybe your relationships have changed. Maybe people used to be great, but time has soured your relationships.
It is never too late to change your relationships. Be the bigger person. Make the moves you need to make in order to rebuild lost relationships. Trust me, the people you want back in your life probably want you back in their life too. Make that happen.
- Pick up your old hobbies again
One of the mistakes people make in life is that they abandon everything. Perhaps you were in a relationship in which you were always out socialising and did lots of exercise. But the relationship ended and with the relationship you also abandoned those old hobbies that used to make you so happy.
Just because part of the past turned sour doesn’t mean it all did. You can still continue to do all the things that made you happy. Don’t let one little hiccup become a disease. Don’t let one bad memory prevent you from doing what you love.
Go through your past. Ask yourself “What mattered?” “What did I really love?” “What made me happy back then?” Pick those things back up. Reconnect with the positive aspects of your past. And don’t let anything prevent you from doing what makes you happy.
5 If people hurt you, tell them. But be willing to listen too.
Bad times happen. And yeah, that thing that happened to you probably sucked total balls. It probably made you so freaking angry that you never want to talk to that person again.
But it’s not healthy.
If people were brave enough to step up and say “You hurt me. And I want to tell you,” everyone would be happier.
Because you know what? Odds are that person who hurt you isn’t a bad person (obviously there are exceptions, but for the most part, people are generally decent). If they hurt you, and they’re an okay person, they will welcome the opportunity to say “I messed up and I am sorry”.
But you know what? You hurt people too. Yeah, you did. We all do. That’s just part of the raw deal, right? We hurt each other.
So if that person comes back to you and says “You hurt me too,” be strong and do the right thing. Listen to them.
Chatting it out is so vital today, isn’t it?
I mean let’s just cut the crap and own up to this thing. We all make mistakes. And we all hurt people from time to time. We don’t mean to, but we do. Problem is, we don’t own it. We get into the bullshit “So what if I hurt you, you hurt me first”. Shots get fired. Nothing gets healed. You have to be able to forgive other people.
Go up to the person that hurt you. Tell them. And if they say that you hurt them too, have the gonads to listen and to own it, and apologise.
And you know what the beautiful thing about this process is? If the two of you own your sh*t and admit your wrongs, and you mutually apologise, you’re going to end up being in a much stronger relationship than you ever had before.
Now this isn’t to say you can’t cut negative people out of your life. But a lot of people are not negative, they just made mistakes.
And there you are. These techniques will help you to overcome your past.
The past is putty in your hands, my friend. You shape it into what you want. You can totally overcome your past. And when you do, you will build a happier tomorrow.
Liked this post? Remember to share on Facebook and Twitter.